Image credit: micro10x / 123RF Stock Photo
I met Nicole* to interview her for my next book project. Decades of stress were etched in the lines on her face. Unmarried and childless, she had always put work first and relished her accomplishments.
Still, caring for a sick parent gave her time to reflect in a way she probably wouldn’t have allowed herself in the past. She began thinking about what she wanted in the later part of her illustrious career. The recession derailed her plans to scale back and focus on helping others so now she was trying to figure out how to deliver at work while creating more of a life at home. Health was her first priority and for that she had to deal with her stress.
Causes of stress
Some of our stress comes from ever-mounting work demands. Yet, some is within our control:
- Trying to control the uncontrollable – e.g. an adult child with an addiction problem or a changing workplace.
- The past – anger, frustration or guilt tied to past experiences.
- The future – doubts and worries over what the future will bring.
This article includes a great list of signs and symptoms of stress overload. Are you there?
Mindfulness: That’s why they call it the “present”
There has been a lot of research supporting the efficacy of mindfulness. At the core of the mindfulness movement are tools to bring our attention back to the present where past upsets and uncertain futures disappear. Mindfulness leaders like Jon Kabat Zinn, and Thich Nhat Hanh teach us that in the moment, as Louise Hay says, “all is well.” Through a regular centering practice like meditation, yoga, tai chi, breath work or chi gong, we gain:
- Equanimity
- Peace
- Enduring joy
- Greater focus & clarity
- Enhanced creativity
As someone who has practiced daily for a few years, I can attest to these benefits, which grow over time.
Managing stress well
HelpGuide.org shared several qualities associated with the ability to tolerate stress:
- Strong social network – those with friends and family they can turn to weather challenges better than those who isolate themselves
- Optimism – accepting change as a part of life and approaching it with humor keeps challenges in perspective
- Emotional maturity – knowing what calms you down when sad, angry or afraid helps you move on quicker
- Knowledge & preparation – anticipating hurdles and planning for them as much as you can helps you feel more in control
- Sense of control – the belief that you can persevere even in the face of challenges helps you know you will get through this too.
Consider changes at work
Nicole pursued a path at her company that was more lucrative while giving up her management duties. In no longer managed others, work got easier. It is an option she wouldn’t have explored 5 years ago. Now, with new priorities and a desire for more life in her life, she was ready.
Stress may be inevitable, but how we deal with it makes all the difference. Through mindfulness, cultivating the qualities above and looking to make work changes that align with our goals we can manage stress, rather than have it manage us.
What’s your favorite stress reliever?
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* We can learn from each other, but names are changed to protect confidentiality.
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